Background downloads in 1024x768… 

right click the image or cmd click it and choose the save image as option. Feel free to share the love….

Friendships are amazing. The concept of having a friend is an amazing one. I think if it weren’t for the church we wouldn’t have nearly as many friends that we do through our church circles and dealings. For a guy a real close friend is usually somebody he can ask to become his best man when he gets married, and for a girl… well a girl usually has a “bestest friend” or a BFF (I didn’t ever think I’d say that, but there it is)!

When our friendship are in their sweet spot then things are great, but when things are not that great or either one of us feels wronged or done in by the other, then a friendship can really be a burden. However many reasons that could mean the erosion of friendships there is often one that turns out to be a massive culprit and that’s communication. It can sometimes prove to be tricky and if done wrong or not done at all, friendships can come under some very unnecessary strain. If this is left unattended then the ugly quickly sets in and friendships crumble and people feel wronged and walked all over and taken advantage of. I recon I’m spot on in saying that I’m not the only one who doesn’t enjoy people walking over me, taking advantage of me or doing me wrong. In friendships, when we do wrong to another person we often feel guilty, but when other people do wrong to us we feel bitter about it.

In friendships, when we do wrong to another person we often feel guilty, but when other people do wrong to us we feel bitter about it.

Bitterness is by definition the way we feel when other people sin against us, whether it is something real or imagined by us. Our immediate response to this is anger. If we don’t do anything about that hurt of the sin/wrong it eventually turns to issues of resentment, hatred, cynicism and contempt. When people look at our situation and point out our bitternes, it is easy for us to point our finger to somebody else and blame them for making us bitter. This shows why we are bitter and doesn’t do anything for our bitterness. It doesn’t necessarily mean that that person has actually sinned against us. It could be our perception or imagination yet it still turns into a vile bitterness. Bitterness could also be caused from jealousy. James 3:14 – bitter jealousy and selfish ambition.  If you find yourself doing the following, then you could be bitter:

1. Do you continually play a negative past happening in your mind, over and over again and dislike the person/s involved?
2. Do you intentionally avoid certain people because you get annoyed by them?
3. Do you find that your dislike of someone grows over time? 

Eventually our bitterness seeps out of our mouths, because it is the overflow of our hearts that our mouth speaks. We often speak derogatory about someone else to demean, disrespect or bring them down. It is our verbal way of making them pay. Its crazy because when a stranger sins against you hugely, you are unlikely to become bitter, but when someone close to you sins against you in the smallest of ways, bitterness kicks in like a stomach ulcer. So it is not that often related to the magnitude of the sin. It is largely because you have opened your heart to that person and have high expectations of the relationship.

“When a stranger sins against you hugely, you are unlikely to become bitter, but when someone close to you sins against you in the smallest of ways, bitterness kicks in like a stomach ulcer”

Do people get bitter towards God? Sure they do.

Ruth 1:20 - Naomi gets bitter towards God. She moves from Israel with her husband and sons, who then die. She says to her daughters-in-law, don’t call me Naomi (pleasant or sweet) but rather call me Mara (bitter). For the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.

One of the greatest lies of bitterness is that is not our fault and how somebody else has wronged us. The truth is bitterness is caused by the condition of our hearts. When people sin against us, our response comes out of what is in our hearts and not what they have done to us. “The good person out of the treasure of his heart produces good; the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil. For out of the abundance of his heart the mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

At work the other day, I went and made a cup of coffee. On my way back to my desk somebody walked past and bumped my elbow by accident. I just happened to have a white T-shirt on that day and guess what, the coffee left a huge mark on white T-shirt. No matter how much I wished that when that cup got jolted hard that fresh spring water would’ve come out, but it wasn’t to be. The reason is that the contents of the mug were coffee and what came out was coffee. The same with us, when we get jolted hard by life or circumstances what is in our heart will come out. We can’t for a moment think that when we get jolted hard that fresh water will come out when in fact the contents might be coffee. - “The good person out of the treasure of his heart produces good; the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil. For out of the abundance of his heart the mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

Eph 4:32 – Let all bitterness, wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice.” Bitterness never stays bitterness unless it gets dealt with. It grows and becomes incredibly dangerous.

Heb 12:14-16 – Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to see the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a bowl of soup.